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| Wednesday, 26-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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Giving Thanks: A Cherished Note
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Hello D&T,
I hope that as you celebrate this Thanksgiving you are blessed with many joys. I have certainly been very blessed this past year. Some say that every person who crosses your path does so for some divine reason. I believe that you two have crossed my path to show me how a life well lived creates such a powerful, positive energy!
Through your examples of goodwill, generosity, compassion, and faith - I am inspired. So, MAHALO, for making me richer by allowing me the opportunity these past few months to connect with so many wonderful, warm individuals.
-MTT
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| Tuesday, 25-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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Let sleeping dogs lie...
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"Let sleeping dogs lie" means...
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do not create problems...
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leave things alone ...
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An e-mail from my friend, Jillary, that only a pet-lover can appreciate in full:
Subject: LETTER TO MY PETS
Dear Pets:
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Canine/Feline attendance has never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other animal and or your backside. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Our Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Thanks, Jillary. This put smiles on my face...especially "they don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results."  
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| Monday, 24-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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Thank you, Girl Friends!
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The Hula Maidens: Hedy, me, Gylene, Beulah, Flo & Jeannette
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Monday AM Hula Ladies: Virginia, Dorothy, Helene, Violet & Dee
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Kalika & Lana
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My friend, Hedy, e-mailed me the following long, but valuably informative information:
UCLA STUDY ON FRIENDSHIP AMONG WOMEN
By Gale Berkowitz
A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.
Scientists now suspect that hanging out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis. A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research--most of it on men-upside down.
Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible, explains Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers.
Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just fight or flight. In fact, says Dr. Klein, it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead.
When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect.
This calming response does not occur in men, says Dr. Klein, because testosterone -- which men produce in high levels when they're under stress -- seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen; she adds, seems to enhance it. The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was made in a classic "aha" moment shared by two women scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded, says Dr. Klein. When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew instantly that we were onto something.
The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress differently than men has significant implications for our health.
It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer.
In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period. In another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%. Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight!
And that's not all! When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their pouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stress of all, those women who had a close friend and
confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without friends were not always so fortunate. Yet if friends counter the stress that seems
to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them?
That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D, co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998). Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women, explains Dr. Josselson. We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience.
Source: Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight" Psychological Review,
107(3),411-429
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Musings on The Sisterhood: Coming Full Circle
As a kid, my preferred play buddies were guys. No accident that I was a tomboy. A hoyden. I was the second daughter, the one that was supposed to be a boy. And in many ways, subconsciously, I believe, my father treated me accordingly. I was his little buddy. His shadow.
While he nurtured my feminine side, Dad also taught me, by his example, to be tough, strong and independent, to stand my ground and not be pushed or bullied around. He taught me when to keep quiet, and when and how to speak up. Loudly and with full confidence and force, if need be.
I was far more interested in Dad's activities than Mom's -- being out in the world; doing outdoor chores; spending summer days with him on the farm or afternoons on the ranch, rounding up cattle and playing cowboy. I'd patiently wait for his arrival home from work at the bottom of the stoop, greeted him like he'd been away for months, and followed him around like an ecstatic puppy, while he tended to his afternoon chores.
He was always up to something and indulged me with surprises. Sometimes, it was something as simple as a sweet guava that he picked from a roadside tree and put in his lunch bag for me to find. Or a little dessert wrapped in wax paper from one of the ladies at the packing shed...
We arm-wrestled. We'd punch each other in the arm for fun. We jostled and romped as fathers do with their sons. He was constantly baiting me into little competitions and I always bit. He never felt he needed to sugar-coat his speech or soften his tone with me. In contrast, he spoke to my little sis with a softness reserved for girls with tenderer emotions. If he went too far, he'd declare, "You can take it." And of course, I could.
He encouraged me to be strong and fearless, and I fancied myself an adventurer, outdoorsperson, and explorer. I trekked solo through the deep, dark and verdant rainforest next to our home in Pahoa. I knew the rugged Kapoho Bay coastline like the back of my hand. My favorite childhood activities were riding my bike, climbing trees, making forts, scouting, boating, hiking, rollerskating, and in high school, skateboarding; and in college, skiing, and much later (try 46), surfing.
Doing girly things like cooking, shopping and playing with dolls or Little Missy stuff like sewing, cooking and crafting left me cold. Baking was okay, after all my grandpa was the town baker. And he was big and brawny.
Cousins and neighbors that were closest in age to me were boys: Milton, Wally, and Calvin; and Ronald and Melvin. The classmate I most admired was Eddie. It's not that I didn't have girl friends. I did, and think kindly and with much affection of these girls who shared my idyllic life in Pahoa: Christine, Susan T, Susan S, Janis, Iris, Suzanne, and Gayle.
I most enjoyed playing with Gayle. She was a tomboy like me. Second girl in the family...yadda, yadda. The rough and tumble one. We spent blissful hours together swinging like monkeys on her swing set and biking the backroads of Pahoa, looking for natural fish ponds, through cane fields and past ghost houses.
Forget dolls and frilly things. Never owned a Barbie. Never wanted one. My hand-me-down blue bike was my most valued possession. Give me a Jungle Gym over any dollhouse. Lincoln logs, erector sets, and model airplanes were the real presents in life that I never got myself, but loved it that my brother did. Forget baubles and bangles. A pup tent, a mess kit, a pocket knife, a camera (a sign of things to come?) and camping gear were on my list to Santa.
I never took Home Economics. Bored to tears, I dropped out of a sewing class. I preferred working in the yard and gardening to vacuuming and dusting. In high school, when girls were into mascara and lipstick, I was into swimming, lifesaving, and going to the beach. I had great girlfriends -- Gayle, Gwen, Gerry, and Katie -- but I preferred the company of my boyfriends. That my three big high school flames -- Jeff, Arnold, and Hovey -- surfed and were on the swim or water polo team was no accident.
My favorite actress, early on, was Katherine Hepburn, whose best role, it's been said, was herself: "She didn't do coy. She wasn't a femme fatale. She wasn't about being pretty. And she didn't give a damn. She came to conquer, and she did: she earned 12 Oscar nominations, a record four winsâ??three of them after the age of 60â??and became the most indomitable actress of her era, which still isn't over. Hepburn once said she wanted to "live like a man." Instead, she re-defined what it meant to live like a woman. She played queens, debutantes, athletesâ??and even actressesâ??but her greatest role was Katharine Hepburn. We could have watched her play it forever." ~Source
In college, my most challenging subjects of formal study -- and therefore, my favored -- were Calculus and Physics, back then traditionally, "guy" courses of study. Susie and Carla were my best college gal pals, but my best college buddies were again, guys. Peter, Jim, Jeff, and most of all, Kirk. They just did more fun things -- like camping out on a Louisiana bayou, skiing in Upper Michigan, spelunking deep in Indiana limestone caves, and biking the hills and dales of Southern Indiana backcountry.
I entered a profession at the time when less than 10% were female.
So it has only been in the second half of my life that I have discovered and indulged my feminine side when it comes to friendships.
I have been bountifully blessed with Sue, Samara, and Alana; Mom and my sisters: Joan, Sandy, and sis-in-law, Lei; Lynn, Jillary, Annie (Nani), Marilyn, Kathy and Becky; Faith, Blanche, Aileen, Bobbie; Aunty Marion; Florence, Ka'iulani, Aunty Kawena Pukui, Aunty Hannah, Aunty Alana and Kupunawahine Maleka 'Ohia; `Oli, Happy & Laki, my nieces: Lana, Lanakila, Kalika, Shannon, Kisa, and Cassie, Cia and my co-workers: MTT, QL, JK, MaLou, and Tippy, and The Hula Maidens: Hedy, Gylene, Beulah, Flo, and Jeannette; and Helene and my Monday morning and Thursday morning hula sisters.
I'm even reading cookbooks these days. Interestingly, mostly written by guys. Sam Choy, being my favorite. As for spending much time over the hot stove, well, let's not push our luck.
So to this article, I say, "Hear! Hear!" and Mahalo! 
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| Saturday, 22-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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TaroPatch post: Keali'i Reichel Interview
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Happy Birthday to my Indiana University college roommate, Susie Owen Windnagel, also known as Norma Sue Owen from French Lick, Indiana, and my friend and co-worker, Cia!
_____
This was originally posted over at the TaroPatch. Wishing to gather and centralize my thoughts put to words in one spot, I repost them here:
Thank you for posting the Maui News URL. I was too late in getting to the article directly, but was able to get it via Google's cached article:
Go here: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=jon+woodhouse+reichel
Then scroll down to: The Maui News: MAUI BEAT: KEALI'I REICHEL - - Maui News
Then hit the Cache link.
This is an excellent article; I hope the rest of you can access it. Bravo to Jon Woodhouse. His article provides well-expressed insights that allow further enrichment and enjoyment of Keali`i's music, especially as we near the eve of the release of the absolutely wonderful Ke'alaokamaile, due out December 5. It helped me to further appreciate where that depth of feeling of his music come from. In his case, a profound love and devotion for `ohana (past, present and future), his stable force (his grandmother), a place (Paia) and time, and a way of life.
I do not perceive the disingenousness that you do, Andy Rooney, I mean, Raymond. You wrote: "I get tired of hearing people who make choices, enjoy those benefits, then chafe at paying the price."
Instead, I empathize completely with Keali`i. I am no celebrity, but I also work in the public arena. I am actually a mouse of a person. I am most myself when I am out of that arena: Quiet. Reclusive. Private. Reflective. Loving my time alone. Being by myself or with a small,intimate circle. I too was a latchkey kid, raised by my grandmother who thoroughly adored me, who gave me acres of personal space and gobs of time that was blissfully spent in my own little world.
Nevertheless, I love people in general. I love serving them. I believe in my people-involving work. I also have come to appreciate my heritage and my homeland's culture, and I am devoted to sharing them with others and doing my little part in perpetuating them. So I too have a public "persona" that is not my natural bent. I choose to "subject" myself to playing an extroverted role that often feels alien to me, often feeling very much like Heinlein's stranger in a strange land.
Like K, I choose to make those forays out of my "box," and the benefits are considerable. It feels GREAT to meaningfully help others. I can't do that if I stayed holed up in my box. The pokes, prods, and intrusions do wear me down, and I do often miss that cozy, nurturing box and yearn for that simpler, non-threatening abode.
And yes, as Keali`i mentioned, some of his listeners find his music to be therapeutic. I am one of those listeners. When I listen to his music, I am back in my safe box and in touch with my inner self. In his music, I sense perhaps a parallel reality; here's another human being on a similar life's journey with its mishmash of conflicting emotions. I identify. I feel less alone. I am comforted. I get balanced. Sounds pretty therapeutic to me.
Not able to be our own therapists, we look outward to the arts, be it visual and/or musical to soothe our souls. It's all about emotion and making sense of them, or at least trying to... Music, especially as sung with Keali`i's emotional depth, helps me to see and be aware of life's paradoxes. His songs and his singing magnifies the emotions and allows me to get in touch with them. The metaphors in his Hawaiian music allow for introspection. Kinda like Rorschach inkblots.
I, for one, am grateful that Keali`i has made the choices that allowed his work to reach my ears and alter my perceptions of the world in positive ways. I feel he deserves every benefit -- intrinsic or extrinsic -- derived from stepping out of his box. And if there comes a time, he feels like the price is steep and he wants to retreat into his box (likely, a garden), well, I shall be happy for what he has shared with me to date and will not begrudge him one iota. Although at first it might feel like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, I'll respect and support his choice.
Life is short, make it sweet. And sometimes home, sweet home is a little comfy box with one's loved one, worlds away from this crazy, over-stimulating one.
Well, it's past midnight. Pardon the intropection. This thread and the article made for `ono food for thought. Thanks for listening.
Me ke Aloha,
Aunty D
http://hawaiianlanguage.com
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| Friday, 14-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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TaroPatch post: Makana, erstwhile Matt Swalinkavich
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This was originally posted over at the TaroPatch. Wishing to gather and centralize my thoughts put to words in one spot, I repost them here:
[b]Ahh, Makana, the erstwhile Matthew "Matt" "The Kiho`alu Kid" Swalinkavich, student and protege of Sonny Chillingworth. He lives up to his names. Matthew means gift (of God). Makana, his Hawaiian name, means gift. An extraordinary talent, he is a gift and he is gifted.
I first heard Makana when he was still in high school in the spring of 1996, at a private party. The talent was obvious. Palpable. All who heard him then knew it was just a matter of time before his star would rise.
I last heard Makana a month ago at a wedding of at a fellow Hawaiian civic club member and his bride, then immediately after that as a guest performer at the Na~ Leo concert at the Cerritos Performing Arts Center. From the shy, young talent that I met then, to now: What a transformation! He seems comfortable on the stage, confident but not in an arrogant way as he retains his sweet, low-key charm. And his music has matured. He has come into his own.
Makana was a HIT. The audience loved his ki ho`alu performances. He performed a beautiful original with a creative hapa accompaniment of modern dance-hula choreography, as well Uncle Punahoa's Special, played in the eye-popping tradition of Led Ka`apana with arm and leg action.
On his most recent CD, he honors his mentor with a "Song for Sonny" and two kupuna (elders) by including them on it. Makana recognized treasures in Tau Moe and Bill Tapia. Who is Bill Tapia? He's a 94 year old rediscovered `ukulele talent; here's a recollection of our meeting of Bill in 2002 about the time that he was being rediscovered: http://www.geocities.com/sptmbrmrn/051902.htm
Back to Makana, if you would like to learn more about him, I have linked past articles on him here: http://www.geocities.com/~olelo/hmd/ma.html Keep your eye and ear on this one. He is destined...
Me ke Aloha,
Aunty D http://hawaiianlanguage.com[/b]
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| Thursday, 13-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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An Intimate Celebration of Good Hearts
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| Wednesday, 12-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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Saving Graces
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| Tuesday, 11-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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A Welcomed Breath of Fresh Air
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| Friday, 7-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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ML: Dings
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| Monday, 3-Nov-2003 00:00 |
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Divine Intervention
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"He will give His Angels charge over you. To guard you...
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[b]What a difference a week makes. The fire peril for Big Bear Valley became threateningly real a week ago. Seven LONG days of "sensory overload" later (it seems like weeks!), yesterday, the residents of Big Bear Valley began returning not to charred, leveled homes, but to unravaged, spared homes. Their unscathed home, sweet homes.
Latest news: 78% containment. Estimated date for full containment: 11/08/03 or sooner. Please KEEP visualizing until it is 100% contained: http://www.geocities.com/ntd2020/bigbearlake.htm We want NO SURPRISES!
Last Wednesday, the hot, 50 mph Santa Ana winds were whipping the fires straight up the mountain. The roaring wildfires were advancing a mile a minute on two fronts toward the valley. They were just miles away from the valley's front door to the west and on the other side of the ridge to the north.
It had not rained for over six months, since March, extending the drought to over four years. The drought weakened the pine trees; the bark beetles took over, infesting them and sucking out the trees' life juices. Half of the forest trees were copper-colored, brittle, dry and dead --"just gasoline on sticks." Moreover, the forest was overgrown with over 500 trees per acre versus the "natural and safer" 50 trees per acre. There was a 100 year buildup of dry, dead fuel. The forest was a tinderbox.
With perfect firestorm conditions, the valley was expected to be a mere speed bump in the rampaging fire's path. These wildfires had little sympathy for anything in their path. It seemed like a done deal.
And then, with exquisite 11th hour timing, the rains, then the snows, arrived. A blessed reprieve. It was the stuff movies are made of... Some say it was a fortuitous meteorological change. A stroke of luck. A lucky break. Others say Mother Nature stepped in and lent a helping hand to the firefighters. I say it is Divine Intervention.
Mahalo e ke Akua. Thank You, God. You work in the most mysterious of ways. We were humbled and brought to our knees. Thank You for listening to our impassioned, gathered prayers. Thank You for seeing and crystallizing our visualized thoughts of a safe and fire-free Big Bear Valley. Thank You for inspiring the 4,211 souls who worked under Your Direction, including the firefighters who fought their noblest and most valiant of battles and the support personnel that fed and clothed them while keeping the peace.
"He will give His Angels charge over you To guard you in all your ways." And now the angels can go back to picking gold stars from the heavens: http://www.geocities.com/thedaffodilgarden/legend.htm[/b]
Updates:
KHBR: http://kbhr933.com/newslocal.html
The Big Bear Grizzly: Old Fire 78 percent contained, federal team moving out:
http://www.bigbeargrizzly.net/articles/2003/11/03/news/aaaaaaafire.txt
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My heart goes out ot those who lost their lives and homes 
